This week I was picked for Photoshop Friday at the workplace. This is an exciting weekly event where we pick a person from the office, and insult them to the highest extent. Although many people have mastered the skill of Pshop, and have no issues whipping something up quickly…we have decided to add a twist. Mother Fucking MS Paint. That’s right, you can use nothing except for MS Paint. These are the results.

Lots of Volvo’s, adoption jokes, making fun of my badass dog, my perfectly sculpted hair and calling me a Puerto Rican.  Cago en su mamá ayer. No porque quiero a, pero porque yo me siento que soy necesario. ¡Viva el burrito!

Even though you’d think I would be offended. I’m not. It was quite an exciting morning. This pretty much sums it up.

Off to the pictures yo!

So just about everyone in the UCF/Orlando area read and/or commented on my blog about how lame promoting around this town has become here and here, so this blog will be somewhat of a sequel to that, in a sense.

I’m swag surfing FaceBook today and I see a status update from none other than Clint “Mr.Orlando” House that goes a little something like this…

Gasp.

 You read right folks, Mr. Orlando is officially hanging up his blazers (or should I say blazer) and throwing in the towel on the city that coined his now infamous nickname. Can you blame him? I definetly cannot. One thing I can say is that Clint gave it his best shot. Let’s re-cap, in picture form.

 Clint popped up in the nightlife scene by promoting for WhatsHot with Chris Nault and Rob Hype…

 

(Nault has lost some weight since then, eh? He and Mikey Stylez must be on the same diet because they are both looking way buff these days, no homo. Dawe, you could take some advice from those two.)

Clint left WhatsHot due to financial issues within the company (gasp again) and decided, because he has 2,000+ FaceBook friends, that he should start his own company and thus Revolution Nights was born.

 

I guess no one had the balls to tell Clint that there was a gay club with the same name but whatever. If that wasn’t enough to scratch your head about, he then made a logo to get people to join his ‘revolution’ which looks like someone from South Carolina might have made to make a statement about OTHER things.

 

Wow.

 And so the revolution began. Now, Clint might not have started a revolution in nightlife but he sure did make a revolution in graphic design.

 

Can we get the number to your graphic designer? Please? I mean, how does he know how to do all those cool tricks on MS Paint?

Ok, Revolution Nights was a bust, so Clint decided to re-brand himself and his company by going back to the moniker that he had while working for Biggins, Mr. Orlando.

Clint then secured himself a night at Antiqua, Project Bikini.

 

Obviously hired a different graphic artist this time cause this one isn’t too bad. It isn’t too good either, because they forgot to put one instrumental thing on the flyer, the date. Being the professional Mr. Orlando is, he pulled out his handy silver colored Sharpie and added the date in himself.

Clint went all in on this party, posting status updates about it once every 30 mins. He even found time to post status updates while swooning the ladies…

Project Bikini was apart of the 4th of July weekend extravaganza Mr. Orlando promised us. Wednesday at Antiqua, Friday at Bliss (also a bikini party) and concluding it all Saturday with the biggest joke of a 4th of July party in Orlando history, the “I’m on a Boat” party, which was cancelled last minute due to nobody giving a shit or willing to pay the ridiculous ticket price.

Mr. Orlando obviously failed to do his homework because…

1. Chillers owns Church Street on Wednesday nights and has for years now.

2. OCC did a bikini party mere weeks before at Antiqua, which would end up being the death of STEREO because it was THAT bad.

So after 3 failed attempts at starting new nights around town (Fusian, Antiqua, and let’s not forget Medicis) he did what no one was expecting and joined forces with Mikey Stylez to help him launch his newest night at Roxy, Models and Bottles. After the first week success of Stylez’ new party, Clint then made himself an official KnightLyfer. Why? Who the fuck knows.

Here he is pictured with DJ19Sixty and his freshly shaven arms…

 

According to Mikey Stylez, Clint pulled $500 that night, which Dawe and I both think is too saucy to be true but if you did Clint, good job. Don’t spend all that money on Bud Light and Marlboro Lights.

One thing Clint did do which I thought was both slick and pathetic at the same time was make a FaceBook group while the Orlando Magic were in the playoffs titled ‘Magic are going to the finals!!’ or something along those lines. In this group, he amassed 1,000+ people. Well, as you know, the Magic didn’t make it past Phil Jackson and his 9 rings, so Clint did what any sleezy promoter would do. He changed the name of his group to ‘I party with Mr. Orlando!’.

Bravo. Rather than make a new group, you just changed the name of the one you made about sports and turned it into a group about partying. Anyway, so after Mikey Stylez made it rain on Clint (no homo) because of that $500 first night at Roxy, Clint then changed the name of the group AGAIN, this time to ‘KnightLyfe.com’. Incredible. Absolutely incredible, Clint.

That brings us to today, where we are left to ask ourselves, what happened? Was the money not good enough? Did they take your microphone from you at the club for laughing into it too much and that rubbed you the wrong way? Did someone steal your bottle of Verdi out of VIP that Stylez gave to you for a job well done? We need answers; the public deserves to know.

 Or was it just for reasons that I explained in the blog that started all this?

 

 

 

Disclaimer: This blog was not meant to be an “I hate Clint House” blog, but merely a busting of the chops. Clint is my friend and knows this should be taken with the smallest grain of salt out of the shaker (as should anything I said about anyone else IE: Stylez, Nault and 19sixty). In the end, you obviously made some type of impression on people if I decided to take time out to write this detailed blog about you. Congrats Clint, you finally got your own blog on OCC.

This blog has been Docta Douche Chris approved:

 

 

 

Come out and see Best of Orlando’s Top Rated DJ Docta Dawe spin live, along side DJ Deville. Last week was packed out and since the weather is doing nothing but getting even sexier, this week will fill up even faster! Make sure to beat the line by getting there early! Doors open at 10.     18+ to party - 21+ to drink.

Crazy Specials all night:

3-4-1 Drinks until 12

2-4-1 Shots after 12

2-4-1 Bottles in VIP

LADIES!!! Come out with 3 of your friends and drink complimentary champagne in VIP all night long.

This is a night not to miss. Definitely the #1 Thursday night in Orlando.

Just ask these guys…

Or these guys….

Or even these guys!

I saw you last Wednesday night.

You, and your mohawk you kept checking to make sure was pointy enough.

I also saw your 2 friends.

The one in the blazer (who posts all those awesome video blogs on facebook), and the one who owns a nightclub you guys both do (or use) to do promotions at.

You think nobody knows about your new night, but we do.

You think you guys are the only one infiltrating that spot, and you’re not.

I guess you didn’t have enough Status to keep your current Saturday night?

DJ dLux - Da Mystery of Death (KillaPeez Edit)

From the dudes that brought you “Jizz in my pants”…You can pick up their album on iTunes, at most Retail stores or on TheLonelyIsland.com.

 …I’m on a Boat…

And just because this video is still Crunk as fuck…

What was your favorite nightclub promoter doing last night? Watching some Spike TV, waxing his chest, ordering some pizza… who knows. Some people are just natural promoters, hustlers, and have serious dedication to their parties and events, others just let their mules do the work.

Last night I was flyering house of blues with some of my Orange County Concepts associates. I have been warned that HOB is not a safe destination for flyering, but I have never played nicely with others in this business. We swiftly covered the entire parking lot in less than 20 minutes. Just as I was about to finish the final row I saw an entourage of Disney security people on bicycles headed in my direction. The first person to confront me was an older gentleman. He asked “What are you doing?” I responded, “Walking to my car.” From that point forward all my exchanges with Disney security were unpleasant, and profanity laden.

 In less than 30 seconds 8 Disney security people had bombarded me. “How did you get here?”, “What are you flyering for?”, “Who is helping you?”, “PULL YOUR PANTS UP!”, “Where is your car?”, “Where is your ID?” - I was assaulted verbally with an on-slot of ridiculous questions and statements. For a second, I was convinced that I murdered someone in the Downtown Disney parking lot. The answer to that last question, “Where is your ID?”, was “Not with me.” They didn’t like that answer. At that point a very overweight, disgusting, white trash woman attacked me with questions and accusations. She was 100% positive that I was a liar, and that I had a warrant, or was some kind of flyer criminal. If disney was its own country, the punishment for flyering would surely be a beheading in front of cinderella’s castle.

 After about a minute of constant harassment, I kindly told the disney security entourage, “Go FUCK yourselves!” and walked in the direction on my ride. They warned me that I wouldn’t get far because the “county” was on its way. They followed me for about 25 feet when I finally stopped, threw all the items out of my pockets onto the concrete, and told them to strip search me for the ID I DIDN’T have. Finally the “county” police came. I had never been so happy to be released to police in my life.

The REAL police think Disney security is a joke. The officers had tension with the Disney security from the second they showed up, and almost seemed to defend my actions to a point. It was obvious the officers had no respect for these poor excuses of authority figures in desperate need to abuse their power. The officer I dealt with was very reasonable, I told him I had no ID and that I had been harassed by Disney security about it. He ran my name, and after my record came up clean he told me that he was going to have to write a trespass warning as requested by the Disney people. At that point the “head of security” rolled up on this two wheeled people mover contraption that looked like this…

She looked like the wicked witch of the Disney westside with a long tan trench coat and a piss poor expression on her face. She pulled a digital camera from her pocket and began snapping pictures of me like I was Paris Hilton exposed at a nightclub. I asked the officer if I had to let them take pictures of me, and he said that I didn’t, so I zipped my hoodie up leaving only about an inch of visible face. These people are psychotic, and they were willing to go to any lengths to get a picture. They tried discreetly passing the camera from one security person to another, thinking I wouldn’t notice. These people are seriously pathetic wastes of human life. Finally, the warning had been written and the officer began to read it to me, “You are banned from all disney property including: Epcot, Disney World, all water parks, House Of Blues, Downtown Disney, and all resorts…. for the rest of your life.”

 

No Space Mountain.

 

No Thunder Mountain.

 

No Teacups.

 

No House of Blues.

 

No Gay Days.

 

FUCK DISNEY.

 

Hey everyone, Bart Pardy here!! Its been a while since I have blogged, so I decided to take a break from shitting on everyone’s chest to give you the latest news. I felt left out with all this radio show talk, so I decided to start my own radio show!! Its called the Bartpardyshitsonyourchestradiohour, and you can listen live 24/7 right here!!

Listen to the Bartpardyshitsonyourchestradiohour live by clicking here!!

Don’t forget to add me on facebook: “Bart Pardy” (my facebook)

Ok well maybe not but apparently DJ Bling is. He put together one of the best compilations of Rock, Hip Hop, R&B, and 80’s that I have ever heard.

Honestly, I downloaded this album because I was bored off my mind. I gave it a listen, and I love it. Brian heard it in my car and asked me to put it up. So I did. With one condition, that the new Stereo pictures will be posted shortly after. So if you are looking for pictures and don’t see them soon please Email him directly at BrianDawe@OrangeCountyConcepts.com.

Here is the Track Listing:

1. Intro/Kanye West/Red Hot Chili Peppers/DJ Fashen - Cant Stop Getting High
2. Jay-Z/Led Zepplin/Crooklyn Clan - I Just Wanna Whole Lotta Love
3. Mobb Deep/Jimmy Hendrix/The Inhumanz- Foxy’s Shook
4. Ludacris/Rage Against The Machine/Hollaboyz - Stand The Sun Up
*5. Billy Squier/J-Kwon/DJ Bling - The Stroke/Tipsy*
*6. Fergie/DJ Illa-Noise - London Bridges*
*7. Santana/DJ Bling - Oye Como Va*
8. Celia Cruz/Pitbull/DJ Sizzahandz - Guantanamera/Culo
9. Gloria Estefan - Conga
*10. Sade/DJ Bling - Smooth Operator*
11. The Killers/Nelly Furtado - Somebody Told Me/Maneater
12. Cory Heart/Roctakon - Sunglasses at Night
*13. Lloyd/Kano/DJ Bling - Get It Ready Shawty*
14. Fergie/Shelia E - 2 Glamorous
*15. Lady Sovereign/Missy Elliot/Chaka Khan/DJ Krayz - Love Me Or Hate You*
16. Modjo/Sean Paul/Hollaboyz - Lady/Temperature
*17. Pitbull/Yaz/DJ Krayz - Everybody Go*
18. The Outfield/Roctakon - Your Love
*19. Guns N Roses/DJ Stitch - Sweet Child O Mine [DJ Bling Edit]*
*20. Bon Jovi/DJ Bling - Gave Love A Bad Name/Livin On A Prayer*
21. The Cars/Roctakon - Just What I Needed
22. L Trimm/Gary Numan/The Beatles - My Other Car Is A Beetle
23. Junior Senior - Move Your Feet
*24. Whitney Houston/DJ Bling - Dance With Somebody Last Night*
25. Daft Punk/Kanye West/A-Trak - Harder, Better, Stronger
*26. KISS/Ozzy Osbourne/DJ Bling - Party Like A Rock Star*
*27. Van Halen/DJ Bling - Put Your Hands Up and Jump*
*28. Rick Springfield/DJ Bling - Jessie’s Girl*
*29. Franz Ferdinand/Joe Budden/DJ Bling - Take Me Out/Pump It Up*
*30. Survivor/DJ Khaled/Roctakon/DJ Bling - We Takin Over*
31. Stevie Nicks/Roctakon - Edge Of Seventeen
32. Rock-It! Scientists - Timbaland Break
33. Ace Of Base/Timbaland - Cruel Summer/Give It To Me
*34. Madonna/DJ Bling - Into The Groove Girl*
35. Journey/DJ Sizzahandz - Journey With Jean/Don’t Stop Believin
*36. Sean Paul/Roctakon/DJ Bling - Gimme That We Be Burnin*
37. Jackson 5/Naughty By Nature - I Want You Back
*38. Lucy Pearl/Gap Band/DJ Bling - Dance Outstanding Tonight*
*39. Yung Berg/Pat Benatar/DJ Bling - Sexy Battlefield*
*40. Timbaland/Starpoint/DJ Bling - The Way I Desire*

All Bangers as you can see. HotLikeFireTouchMyBodyDownloadThisShit.

Click Here For Download

I don’t know why I am blogging this. Fuck my life.