Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is releasing her first novel in less than a week.
Take a few minutes to let that marinate.
Are we back? Okay, good. Let’s begin. First of all, I enjoy the Jersey Shore. How could I possibly like that show, you ask? 1. Because I love people watching and the Jersey Shore is like all the airports, themeparks and Wall-Marts of our good ol’ U-S-of-A combined to create the perfect people watching experience in the comfort of my own home. 2. Because I like it when people make more of an ass of themselves in public than I could ever aspire to. Is that really so wrong? No, I didn’t think so. Do I think they should be payed to be on the show? Yes. Now before you get all comment-rant-crazy let me explain myself. They should be paid to be on that show becuase not a single one of them posess the qualities to actually make anything of themselves outside of MTV, unless of course you consider scooping gelato or selling souveniers making something of yourself. If people are watching the show…if Ellen DeGeneres is dressing up as your hair-do… then yes, I think you should be making some money. This Snooki book, though, that’s another beast in itself. For someone who puts more phallus-shaped objects in and/or around herself than the number of books she has probably read in her lifetime to be writing a book herself…Oy vey. But then again, who am I kidding. If Paris Hilton, Lauren Conrad, Nicole Richie, the Kardashians, Victoria Beckham and Hilary Duff can all put out novels, why can’t Snooki? Because Snooki can barely write a checklist for her perfect gorilla juice-head let alone a grammatically correct sentence.
I’m done.
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