Well, the long awaited Defammy Awards are out and over with. And now, for my acceptance speech:

“3rd Place J. CHRIS CALLAHAN and KCOLL DESIGNS for the tie

“J. Chris Callahan, because honestly, the last thing I’ve seen him photograph is himself; actually, it can’t be him, because half the time he’s giving his camera to some random drunk college kid to take a picture of him and some other fag-hag.”

2nd Place ORANGE COUNTY CONCEPTS

“orange county concepts and that chick that promotes for them, sam. i have never met a more annoying/abrasive person in my life. if she takes another picture with an occ card in her flat chest, or making out with a girl, i think i’m going to blow my brains out onto the lawn.”

1st Place ADRIANNNNNNNN

2nd Place Dahvey (who supposedly is not even gay)

3rd Place Hugo, J. Chris Callahan? Tyson? Roger from Matador?”

And well, mom – I’ve finally done it. First and foremost, I’d like to thank Hate for making this all possible. Without you, I would not be where I’m at today. You bring me joy, and I.. *tears* – I’m so glad I met you. So OrangeCountyConcepts.com takes 2nd place for “Worst Blog,” and I couldn’t have been happier. This is the 2nd place finish I wanted and sought after months ago (Orlando Weekly’s REAL poll).

How did I lose in “Worst Photographer” to Erik.. I was sure that I was taking sluttier photos and more photos of myself (they ask for a photo with me, I can’t help that I’m good looking- like I said, it’s a curse). I’m sorry that I was born with this perfect bone structure! And that my hair looks better done up with gel and mouse than… hidden behind a stupid camera with a light on it!

And lastly, – I’m really overwhelmed with how happy I am to have pissed off enough people with this blog to have earned an honorable mention (3rd place tie) for “Worst Flamey Faggiest Homo Queer.” It really seems like all my hard work has finally paid off. From the obscene comments to the hate emails, – I’d like to thank each and every one of you who I’ve hated and mocked publically/online for voting for me. I’d like to thank Defame: Orlando for hosting the awards, as well as the kids with no lives for fueling the website that hosts the awards with hilarious comments and revealing information about coke habits, how much I love Saturday/Thursday, and sluts to keep me amused.

Thank you all, and God Bless!

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This Thursday, $10 will get you safely to and from the biggest weekly party in Orlando (departing from The Octagon) where you’ll be getting in for free (without waiting in the line), you will also receive a Saturday/Thursday t-shirt (unless you’re really fat, and we didn’t order XXL), one free drink card (to use at your leisure – even after midnight), admission to The Octagon before the bus departs, —- all for $10!

Get Your Wristband Today.

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This Saturday is the back to school bash with Jon Young and J. Cash! With the biggest name in Orlando’s hip-hop, come out and grab a FREE CD, grab some FREE beer, sip on some FREE long islands (or whatever tickles your.. fancy) till midnight, and if you have a vagina – you get through that door by eleven FO’ FREE.

After taking “Best Myspace Artist” in the Orlando Hip Hop Awards, as well as being in DJ Khaled’s music video – I’M SO HOOD (feat. T-Pain.), Jon Young and J. Cash will be hosting SHIT SHOW at The Octagon this Saturday. With hit songs such as Rent Money, I Wear The Black, and Post Up, Jon Young and J. Cash are making their way through the hip-hop scene. For those of you who weren’t there last time we had Jon Young and J. Cash… you’re in for a treat.

Check out their interview with The Coffee Shop.

Also, check out our MySpace page! Add us so I don’t have to (lazy).

Be There This Saturday!

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FUCK YOU, FACEBOOK!

Facebook deleted our Orangecounty Concepts account that we use to get a lot spamming done with. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

Mikey, did you really just make a new one after they deleted it? This is by far the most Arseneauist – I mean asininest thing you’ve ever done.

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I liked this photo way too much.

Saturday/Thursday is coming! (That’s what she said.) – and you can sign up for the guest list online to get in for free!

:: Bounce back and forth when ya’ hear this ::

T.I. featuring LilWayne, Jay-Z, and Kayne West – Swagger Like Us

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9-year-old boy told he’s too good to pitch

By JOHN CHRISTOFFERSEN, Associated Press Writer Aug 25, 8:37 pm EDT

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP)—Nine-year-old Jericho Scott is a good baseball player— too good, it turns out.

The right-hander has a fastball that tops out at about 40 mph. He throws so hard that the Youth Baseball League of New Haven told his coach that the boy could not pitch any more. When Jericho took the mound anyway last week, the opposing team forfeited the game, packed its gear and left, his coach said.

Officials for the three-year-old league, which has eight teams and about 100 players, said they will disband Jericho’s team, redistributing its players among other squads, and offered to refund $50 sign-up fees to anyone who asks for it. They say Jericho’s coach, Wilfred Vidro, has resigned.

But Vidro says he didn’t quit and the team refuses to disband. Players and parents held a protest at the league’s field on Saturday urging the league to let Jericho pitch.

“He’s never hurt any one,” Vidro said. “He’s on target all the time. How can you punish a kid for being too good?”

The controversy bothers Jericho, who says he misses pitching.

“I feel sad,” he said. “I feel like it’s all my fault nobody could play.”

Jericho’s coach and parents say the boy is being unfairly targeted because he turned down an invitation to join the defending league champion, which is sponsored by an employer of one of the league’s administrators.

Jericho instead joined a team sponsored by Will Power Fitness. The team was 8-0 and on its way to the playoffs when Jericho was banned from pitching.

“I think it’s discouraging when you’re telling a 9-year-old you’re too good at something,” said his mother, Nicole Scott. “The whole objective in life is to find something you’re good at and stick with it. I’d rather he spend all his time on the baseball field than idolizing someone standing on the street corner.”

League attorney Peter Noble says the only factor in banning Jericho from the mound is his pitches are just too fast.

“He is a very skilled player, a very hard thrower,” Noble said. “There are a lot of beginners. This is not a high-powered league. This is a developmental league whose main purpose is to promote the sport.”

Noble acknowledged that Jericho had not beaned any batters in the co-ed league of 8- to 10-year-olds, but say parents expressed safety concerns.

“Facing that kind of speed” is frightening for beginning players, Noble said.

League officials say they first told Vidro that the boy could not pitch after a game on Aug. 13. Jericho played second base the next game on Aug. 16. But when he took the mound Wednesday, the other team walked off and a forfeit was called.

League officials say Jericho’s mother became irate, threatening them and vowing to get the league shut down.

“I have never seen behavior of a parent like the behavior Jericho’s mother exhibited Wednesday night,” Noble said.

Scott denies threatening any one, but said she did call the police.

League officials suggested that Jericho play other positions, or pitch against older players or in a different league.

Local attorney John Williams was planning to meet with Jericho’s parents Monday to discuss legal options.

“You don’t have to be learned in the law to know in your heart that it’s wrong,” he said. “Now you have to be punished because you excel at something?”

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Today’s Werd: Destinesia

When you get to where you were intending to go, you forget why you were going there in the first place. Not to be confused with being stoned, destinesia often occurs during working hours, and is the cause of much frustration

.. and also – tonight is Monday. And for those of you with illegal habits/interests, – Weeds is on Showtime tonight.

I was reading a statistic today:

“In 2002, 1.4 million youth met the criteria for alcohol abuse or dependence, but only 227,000 actually received any treatment for these problems.”

- You fucking 227,000 are QUITTERS and a DISGRACE to this country’s alcoholic forefathers.

Speaking of.. Octagon’s Power-Hour is tonight with FREE beer all night long. It’s free beer and free cover – and afterwards, Juan’s taking his pants off to expose an over-worked and depressed server at Steak N’ Shake.

Lastly, it’s Jennifer Willbanks’ birthday today!

In a related story, Jennifer Willbanks has not been seen all day.

(Write that joke down..)

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It’s Saturday night and I’ve been couped up in this house since Tuesday. Fuck the weather, – I’m going to SHIT SHOW.

Black Holes – I’m A Beast

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“i dont go to saturday thursday at firestone anymore..
im a good friend of pauls
so im def. not adding you if all your going to do is invite me to SATURDAY THURSDAY AT FIRESTONE WITH DR.DAWE!
doesnt sound too thrilling to me…
but thanks anyway ”

Today’s message is brought to you by: Lilliam Valentine (Age 14).

Make sure you add her to your friends on Facebook and invite her to Saturday/Thursday every week. Not on Facebook? Use her MySpace!

Thanks for the love, Lilly!

Johnny Cash – Ring Of Fire (Night Facilities Remix)

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Well, Timmy.. you’re body’s undergoing some… “changes.”

It’s natural, it really is.

Things are.. growing and.. your body’s getting BIGGER!

You shouldn’t be embarassed..

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“I write for the stupidest blog in Orlando.”

- “Glitter and Gold?”

(It was a pleasure meeting you. I’ll tell you the story about last night on Thursday. Since Sam’s gone, you should just call up Chris whenever you want to go. However, afterall – the third best website in Orlando does have a guest list.)

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This week, we’ve got a special show for you. Summerbirds in the Cellar. Coming off of their win for “Best Indie Act” in Orlando Weekly’s Best Of Orlando poll, Summerbirds will be playing for us before we jump into Saturday/Thursday this week!

After the show – at about midnight, we’re kicking off Saturday/Thursday.

To check out music from Summerbirds in the Cellar – visit their MYSPACE!

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.. and I give you SHIT SHOW.

Treasure Fingers – On The Dance Floor

For more on Treasure Fingers, check out the following sites!

TreasureFingers.com

Treasure Fingers on MySpace!

Also, check out Fools Gold Records for updated information on the badasses of music.

It’s Saturday/Thursday and Docta Dawe’s birthday! We’re at Club Firestone tonight for the best party in Orlando, bitches! “Bring your green hat, too!”

Drink. Dance. Fuck. Repeat.

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Thousands of teachers and professors are now logging in to one of the biggest social networking websites in the world [Facebook.com]. Despite the misconception that – even surprises me, there are a lot of older men and women now registering for Facebook. In 2006, a ComScore study indicated that nearly 50% of the MySpace users were over the age of 35. Similarly, with Facebook they’ve managed to reach nearly 40%.

Well, since Facebook has skyrocketed, and the average age has shot up, ironically enough – so has student/teacher sexual relationships. Who would have thought? With teachers registering daily, it goes to show that when students and teachers have a means of successful communication – sexual relationships also become created. I believe the words I’m looking for are “Cradle Robber,” very similar to, but not to be confused with, “Pedophile” (See Sick Fuck)

When you put sex-driven kids going through puberty in a room with a lonely, desperate, horny bastard/bitch – someone’s going to take it too far. I mean, from a male student’s perspective – who hasn’t had a hot teacher back in high school whom you’ve sat in class with for nearly a whole year and thought about fucking. In that, it narrows it down to who the problem is – the teachers. Don’t get me wrong – not every teacher is like this. However, there’s a rapid amount of grown men in careers that are sacrificing everything they have, including their asshole in prison, for a one night stand with an underage girl! Fucking losers. When push comes to shove, and you’re that horny, it’s just as dangerous to fuck a prostitute.

However, what’s even more hilarious is the fact that there’s a website now in regards to student/teacher sexual relationships. I am please to introduce to you BadBadTeacher.com.

It’s very similar to where Defame: Orlando is in regards to the crucial blogging world, especially with Adrian’s latest stint and Defame’s posting. If the name of the website isn’t funny enough – feel free to go through the photos of those caught in underage sex scandals in the education system that is our pride and joy in this country.

AskMen.com had a very interesting post about the same topic as well from 2007. The comments are where you’re looking. Being able to see all sides of the story is truly bliss.

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This one goes out to a special lady out there.

She knows who she is. She single-handedly brought the Cheesy Beefy Melt back to Taco Bell.

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Random facts about Jews, as stated by Mel Gibson:

• Jews have secretly been trying to make candy and ice cream illegal.
• Jews don’t worship Jesus even though He’s God and they’re supposed to.
• Jews made that dude cut off Braveheart’s wang at the end of the movie.
• Jews made Lance Bass gay.
• Jews created Arrested Development just so they could piss us off by cancelling it.
• Jews don’t believe in Christmas. What kind of people don’t even believe in Christmas!?!
• Jews gave our founding fathers that whole slavery idea.
• Jews are the ones who made it so hot outside.
• Jews own almost everything. Everything except Malibu, that is – Mel Gibson owns that.
• Jews share religious beliefs similar to those of Madonna.
• Jews don’t care about 9/11.
• Jews love Freddy Prinze Jr. movies, which is why he gets to keep making them.
• Jews killed all the unicorns, which is why you don’t see them much these days.
• Jews didn’t enjoy Lethal Weapon 3.
• Jews believe in Scientology (but not Christmas).
• Jews came up with the idea for Hogan Knows Best.
• Jews don’t want you to know how to save money on your car insurance by using Geico
• Jews made cursive writing irrelevant, thereby wasting countless hours of your childhood.
• Jews only accept MySpace Friend Requests from crappy bands.
• Jews can’t rollerskate very well.
• Jews only print the Torah on unrecycled paper.
• Jews all have the bird flu.
• Did I mention the Jews don’t even believe in Christmas?
• Jews drive people to drink (and then drive).
• Jews invented bad stand-up comedy.
• Jews left all those mean comments about Paris Hilton on TMZ.
• Jews are the ones who put the snakes on the plane.
• Jews don’t enjoy rainbows.
• Jews never won a single episode of American Gladiators.
• Jews don’t shop at Wal Mart as much as they should.
• Jews are trying to stop JK Rowling from finishing the Harry Potter series.
• Jews started the kosher thing just to annoy the rest of us.
• Jews are the ones who made cigarettes give you cancer.
• Jews are to blame for all those stupid Adam Sandler songs.
• Jews don’t hug.
• Jews have never had the Best Week Ever.
• Jews don’t even bother to vote for their American Idol.
• Jews invented SPAM – both the food and the annoying e-mails.
• In their spare time, Jews enjoy making fun of Corky, that retarded guy from TV.
• Jews like to harass innocent people who are minding their own business while drunkenly swerving their way down the Pacific Coast Highway.

.. who knew?

(Copied, STOLEN, and never returned – compliments of Alex Blagg of VH1’s Best Week Ever. Because I have no creativity.)

DJ Skeet Skeet – Party Like a Rockstar (Remix)

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