DJ dLux is not going to be a happy camper that I wrote this blog, since it will knock down his blog post about his latest mixtape “Zone Defense”. If you haven’t downloaded the hottest mixtape of the summer so far get on this now! This is not just a regional mixtape, dLux is doing it really big right now with almost 2,500 downloads in a little over a day! At that rate he is as on track to be neck and neck with Bow Wow’s first week record sales from last month. Not to shabby.
Orlando is pretty lame right now. There is nothing in the club industry I can bash at the moment unfortunately, and hasn’t been for a while. I predict it will be a very slowwwww summer for the Orlando nightlife industry. About the only thing this city has going for it right now is our beloved Orlando Magic.
Scott Skiles must be very proud.
I know this isn’t a sports blog, but bare with me, I’ll find a way to tie this into the blog somehow. After years of shitty attendance and disappointment, mostly with the decisions the front office made nearly 10 years ago, the Magic is back in Orlando. I have to admit, although I am a fan, I was pretty skeptical that they would pull this series off against the Cavs , and its not over yet, even thought it would be pretty hard to blow a 3-1 series lead. It is nearly impossible to have a conversation about the Orlando Magic with another Orlando local without bringing up the past, which was an extreme failure. In 1995 the Orlando Magic were SWEPT in the NBA finals by the Houston Rockets, a series remembered mostly for its game one disappointment, which caused a spiral of falure. With the Magic up by three points late in the game, Nick Anderson, typically a 70% free throw shooter, missed four consecutive free throws that could have sealed the victory for Orlando. I remember watching Marv Albert now, giving play-by-play in Houston for game 4, and seeing the Houston fans waving brooms in the air to symbolize the “Sweep”. We all know the rest of the story: Swept by Michael Jordan and the bulls in the Eastern Conference Finals the following year, Shaq signing with the Lakers, Penny causing a mutiny against Brian Hill, and tons of epic FAILURE since.
The Glory Days (when our uniforms didn’t look as fucking stupid as those v-necks)
The real purpose of this little NBA talk was to inform all the people of Orlando of the unbelievable opportunity we may have as fans. Not only the possibility of having NBA finals basketball in Orlando, but the possibility of a Victory, and NBA Championship. Now here’s the fun part…
I have been watching the NBA finals every year since 1993. Whenever the home team wins the championship, there is usually a celebration, some big, some not as big, it really seems to depend on the spirit and rambunctiousness of the city. Since the days of the Bulls dynasty, the celebrations just haven’t been the same. Last year when the Celtics won, their on court celebration was kind of week, so the fans attempted to take it to the streets. Unfortunately the police presence was high. “As a working class kid, I feel there is no better way of commemorating my hometown’s victory than destroying my hometown,” said Doug Coswell, an unemployed 28-year-old Celtics superfan after last years NBA Finals victory. “I really wanted to fuck some shit up tonight – but before I knew it, some pig cracked me on the head and I woke up in Suffolk County Jail.” Nice attempt Doug!
So you might be asking yourself, “Mr. Dawe, are you suggesting we cause a riot and destroy Downtown Orlando if the Magic win the NBA title?”. Not quite. I mean, if the opportunity presents itself go for it, but the chances of that happening are pretty slim with the extreme police presence that should be surrounding the city. On the other hand, with the Arena right next door to Parramore there shouldn’t be much to fuck up anyways.
We are getting a little ahead of ourselves here, I mean the Magic aren’t even in the NBA Finals yet. If they do make it, there is definitely no guarantee that they will win with either Denver or LA waiting. If they do pull it off and win the big prize who knows if they will do it at home. All I am saying is if the Magic win the NBA championship at home, it is essential as a city, for the fans to STORM THE COURT. Orlando is known as a city of PUSSIES. Everyone loves disney and all the family friendly tourist attractions here, but is that what us locals want to be remembered by? This is ORLANDO’S CHANCE TO BE BAD ASS MOTHER FUCKERS. Of course there will be 15-20 police officers surrounding the parameter of the court, but what good will that do when a crowd of 18,000 people go insane? This is your moment Orlando. The chance to break free from being a weak ass tourist destination with mouse ears as its mascot. If the Magic win the NBA championship this year, we must take back our city, in front of a NATIONAL TV AUDIENCE and act like a bunch of FUCKING IDIOTS.
Here is the playbook:
Boston Celtics 1984 NBA Finals Victory.
Boston’s fans did it right at Boston Garden this night in 1984! Watch the place go insane at 2:22 into the below video. The players had to tell the fans to get off the court before the game was even over! Even better, 3:23, wow. I don’t even know what to say to that one, but I want to be that guy if the Magic win the championship, daisy dukes and all. SO REMEMBER if the Magic make it to the NBA finals, and if they win it at home, help spread the word, MAGIC MASSACRE: STORM THE COURT!
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