I hate you and I love you. Sometimes I feel we should talk more about music you might be interested in, or places we could go at nighttime. Then I realize, I don’t know you, not emotionally or physically. Our relationship is a lie, a sham, and a fraud. That’s why I hate you. A mutual friend of ours, I’m not naming names, told me that you might want to see me New Year’s Day night at Stereo. What if I don’t show? How will we ever fix this faulty romance? I mean, it’s not like you can’t get to my myspace through the link in the contributors box. That’s sarcasm. I figured you’d pick up on that. You are smart. That’s why I love you. And you are clever. I like that too.
We’ve had our good times though, haven’t we? I’ve shown you videos you may not have seen before. I might have made you laugh with my cynicism and biting wit. And if you didn’t laugh, you probably just didn’t get it. I understand.
I have fought with you too. Many times. I’m always right, if you haven’t learned that already. But you are still faithful, and I suppose I am to you as well.
The purpose of this letter is to let you know, dear so-and-so, that I appreciate you and your comradery. Anyway, just a reminder… and this is no big deal… but… my birthday is March 2 and I want a snake.
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