So I think I can speak for everyone when I say this election is really starting to fucking get to me. I am sad to say that I am one of the 60% of Americans suffering from “Voter Fatigue.” Yet oddly enough, it’s all I can write about at the moment. Because every week it’s something new, and every week it’s something stranger. Liiiiiiiiike this:
A 20-year-old girl in Pittsburgh was charged with filing a false police report Friday after admitting that she made up a story about being attacked due to a John McCain sticker on her car.
The police noticed several inconsistencies with her story, and a lack of surveillance footage made it difficult to belive.
Her story claimed a 6’4″ African-American man beat her up at an ATM, and insulted her before pummeling her over and over, saying things like “You’ll be a Barack supporter, now!” and “Where’s your John McCain now?”, before the coup-de-grace – carving a backwards “B” into her right cheek. Really?
Her bail has been set at $50,000. Oh, and both the McCain and Obama campaigns have been in touch with the “victim”; with the former contacting the family, and his Democratic counterpart wishing her a speedy recovery. Before she told them that the story was bullshit of course.
She copped to everything, but the killer part is, she said she got the idea while driving around in her car. BUT…SHE HAS NO IDEA HOW THE BACKWARDS “B” GOT THERE.
Wooooowzers. Crazy freakin’ Republicans.
In other news, a report in the October 2008 New England Journal of Medicine stated that after 6 1/2 years of research into new methods of contraception, scientists have discovered that women can decrease their chances of pregnancy by 95% by not being whores.
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